In the third episode of the Sugar and Spice podcast, our founder Laura Miano made a guest appearance. With her knowledge and clinical experience, Laura addressed a  bunch of the most common questions posed by the audience about human sexuality. Here are some of the most interesting points that came out in the conversation:

Finding reliable sexual resources:

S&S asked: Where can Young people look for resources on sex?

While recognizing the limitations of traditional sources like schools in providing quality sexual education, Laura recommended seeking guidance from certified sex therapists or sex educators on social media platforms like Instagram. Additionally, she suggested exploring apps such as Fairly and Karma, which provide accessible and stigma-free information, or insightful books authored by qualified experts in the field, like "The Erotic Mind" by Jack Morin and "Come as You Are" by Emily Nagoski.

Sustaining sexual attraction

S&S asked: Are there reasons why individuals lose desire for their partners? Is this something that happens naturally?

Addressing a common concern among  (long-term) relationships, Laura offered insights into sustaining sexual attraction over time. Acknowledging the challenges posed by our busy lifestyles nowadays, she urged couples to infuse spontaneity, communication and playfulness into their interactions. By prioritizing intimacy amidst daily responsibilities and engaging in open dialogue about desires and fantasies, we foster a sense of connection and desire beyond the physical act of sex, reigniting the spark and deepening the bond.

Foreplay beyond the bedroom:

S&S asked: How can you have foreplay that is not so compartmentalized?

Laura elaborated on the significance of extending foreplay beyond the physical act, which most of the time is compartmentalized in the confines of the bedroom. From flirtatious text messages such as a “hey baby I’m really craving you” during office hours, to affectionate gestures throughout the day like affection little touches or little games, she stressed the importance of cultivating desire through continuous engagement.  

Dispelling wetness myths:

S&S asked: Why people feel like they don't get wet enough, experience anxiety that reduces wetness or feel like they get more wet when they are alone?

Responding to concerns about lubrication during sexual activity, Laura emphasized that genital response is closely linked to arousal. Miano suggested exploring factors such as hydration, diet, and anxiety management. By reframing wetness as a natural and variable aspect of sexual response, she aimed to alleviate anxiety and enhance pleasure instead of focusing on performance pressure. In addition, experimenting with different lubricants and prioritizing relaxation can enhance individuals’ sexual experiences and alleviate concerns about wetness. 

Mindfulness in Performance Anxiety::

S&S asked: Tips for women in order to reduce anxiety when it comes to performance during sex?

Laura advocated for mindfulness techniques as a means of reducing stress, underscoring the transformative power of present-moment awareness during intimate moments. By grounding oneself in sensory experiences and focusing on the sensations of pleasure, individuals can transcend self-doubt, overcome intrusive thoughts and connect more deeply with their partners.

Debating the significance of size:

S&S asked: Does size matter?

Challenging societal preconceptions surrounding the importance of penis size, Laura emphasized the multifaceted nature of sexual satisfaction and desire, acknowledging individual preferences:

“There are things called accelerators and breaks, these are things that turn your sexual system on and off. For some people,ewhere size is important for them, it could be a huge accelerator. If you think of an equation, this would be like a 5. For someone that size is important but not huge, this would be a 2. Let’s say that, if for you, size is a 5, and your sexual partner is not giving you kisses, or doing foreplay, but then you see the size of the penis, you can be keen and you love it, because that has driven your equation up. On the other hand, if it’s a 2 for you, then you might need other things that get you into the experience. But strictly physically it does not matter, because there are more things other than penetration: touching, licking, kissing, dirty talk, pulling your hair. There are many things that you can also enjoy.”

POSMO sex toy concept store:

What is a sex toy concept store?

Introducing her innovative approach to sexual wellness POSMO is rooted in the principles of posmodernity sexuality. Inspired by queer theory and a commitment to inclusivity, they seek to create a welcoming and aesthetically pleasing space for individuals of all sexual orientations to explore pleasure and intimacy. By challenging traditional norms and fostering a sex-positive environment while celebrating sexual diversity, she aims to empower individuals to embrace their unique sexual identities and desires without fear or shame. Therefore, she envisioned POSMO as more than a retail outlet but as a transformative hub for exploration and empowerment.

In conclusion, the conversation that took place on Sugar and Spice podcast transcended mere informative dialogue, offering a deep exploration of sexuality and intimacy while exploring a bunch of other topics such as squirt, vaginismus, orgasm or sex toys that spice things up inside the couple. Through our sex therapist’s reflections and practical advice, Laura empowered listeners to navigate the complexities of sexual wellness with confidence and compassion, fostering a deeper understanding of themselves and their desires. As society continues to evolve, Laura’s insights serve as a guiding light, illuminating the path towards a more liberated and fulfilling sexual experience for all.

Written by Ana de la Peña
Ana de la Peña Barroso is a psychologist and educator originally from Spain, whose journey has taken her across various countries in pursuit of knowledge and expertise. Currently based in Melbourne, she is specializing as a clinical sexologist and couple's therapist. Her mission is to guide individuals in defining their own sexuality from a place of knowledge, pleasure, and respect. Through her work, she aims to support people in exploring and embracing their unique sexual identities. You can learn more and contact with Ana on @sex2chu