CUM ON MY FACE
Cumming on someone's face or allowing someone to c*m on yours is a loaded topic, no pun intended.
At POSMO and within my work as a sexologist, critically analysing these topics from all angles is essential. I sent a poll via POSMO & my personal sexology account asking for our community view on “cum facials”. We’ve unpacked it all below.
ARE CUM FACIALS DEGRADING?
“Cum facials” are often seen as degrading, and rightfully so in certain situations. If it is inherently demeaning, the backbone of the argument sits upon the embedded misogyny within our culture and the adverse effects of the p*rn industry (primarily shaped by het cis men).
As all sexuality and sexual experience is subjective, cumming on someone’s face or receiving cum on yours exists as a subjective experience also.
One community member said, “As a man, I don’t ever wanna do it. Men make me feel weird that I don’t do it but fuck them.”
Another commented, “It’s too common in porn…but sometimes it’s wanted.”
Submissions varied from, “Hard avoid I find it really degrading - not my thing” to “Personally, I love it, but only with partners as it can feel degrading/yucky with randoms” to “If it’s consensual, it can be such a turn on.” This is subjectivity! And it’s important to note that every answer is as valid as the next.
Whilst it can be demeaning, it can also be simultaneously enjoyable - no kink shame! In exploring this sex act, someone might like the DOM / SUB aspect (dynamic power play), the consensual humiliation (masochism) and/or the derivation of pleasure from consensually demeaning another person (sadism).
CAN WE FIND POWER IN THE CUM FACIAL?
Sex can often be when we leave our inhibitions at the door, creating a safe space where the "rules" of everyday life don't have to apply.
For the cis women, staunch and feminist, receiving a c*m facial may feel pleasantly naughty and a momentary departure from those values, where she can play into gendered roles. As most women of our generation were raised in a sexist cultural landscape, many carry internalised sexist feelings, of which they have suppressed.
One community member said it better than I could, “It feels so dominating, and it’s just sooo sexy like my face is so pretty that you just had to cum on it!”. Another submission read, “As a woman, I love cumming on my BF’s face and then kissing it / licking it. But I would hate if he did it to me. We both have spoken about this, and he completely agrees.”
With this, some might find expressing these feelings during sex helps to affirm parts of their mind they have shut away. It might also allow them to gain control over these feelings by letting them play out in a controlled, safe and consensual context.
On the other hand, cum facials can simply also feel like a strong demonstration of horniness at its most basic level. The giver wants to show it physically, aiming their cum at a vulnerable place. While the receiver wants to accept this as a form of appreciation and unguarded horniness - they are so aroused by their partner that they want their juices all over their own face.
CUM FACIALS EXIST OUTSIDE THE HET BINARY (DUH!)
It is also important to note that “cum facials” exist outside the hetero binary.
Lesbians do it, gays do it, queers do it!
One reply in my DM’s read, “A lesbian perspective - for someone to be so turned on/enamoured by my taste and smell that they ask to be soaked / covered in it is just *flame emoji*” backed further by “No hotter thing than for her to finish on my face!”
In queer sexual experiences, this may or may not change the dynamic and underlying feelings and desires around giving or receiving this act. There is also a possibility that it could be gender-affirming for trans men and trans women for different reasons.
HOW TO: CUM FACIAL, SEXOLOGIST VERIFIED
Consent always. Enthusiastically and freely given. Discussion pre-experience is necessary and a founding principle of all sexual acts. If desired, aftercare can also follow <3
For DOM / SUB play, the DOM could be physically standing above the SUB, enforcing the basic principles of domination and submission from a physical vantage point. The SUB could look up at you, showing they want it and kneel as they submit to the cum facial.
For switch play, the SUB could make the DOM work for it. Ask the DOM to wine, dine, tease, and please you. Only by working for it will they get the lucky opportunity to give you a cum facial.
Dirty talk can be incorporated for anyone exploring this sex act. Think: “When you’re close, baby, I want you to cum on my face”. Also, using your eyes to maintain contact builds tension. You could leave your mouth open, play with your tongue, lick your lips and drool over them.
Let your sexual inhibitions go – touch yourself while it happens, rub your clit/cock, pinch your nipples or massage yourself. This experience is also for you!
Bring in dirty talk -
Another fun element to add to the cum facial is dirty talk. If you're into exploring the DOM/SUB or sadomasochistic element of it, you can expand on the fantasy with relevant questions or comments.
Things like -
“How much do you want this?”
“Beg for my cum on your face.”
“I’ll only do it if you try hard enough”
"Are you slut?"
"I'll only let you cum on my face if you tell me how much you want to"
A few final considerations:
Let them know when it's about to happen – cum stings the eyes, and that’s not cute!
The receiver could lick their partner’s balls or hold their breasts/ass while they aim and blow/squirt on their face. Remember to keep your eyes closed or have the semen/squirt aimed near the lower part of the face.
Once the big moment happens, consider a few things -
Wiping the receiver's face afterwards is a cute courtesy, as is kissing and thanking them. After the big horny explosion between you, any desired aftercare should also be carried out!